Place potatoes in a medium saucepan. Fill the saucepan with water and cover potatoes with 2 inches of cold water. Place on high heat and bring to boil. Lower heat to maintain a simmer. Cook potatoes until easily pierced with a skewer. Drain potatoes and place in a bowl to cool.
While potatoes are cooking, hard boil your eggs. Set aside to cool. Then dice the eggs.
While potatoes are cooking, combine dressing ingredients in a medium bowl: mayonnaise, Miracle Whip, mustard, Durkee's, red wine vinegar, sugar, Tabasco, and spices. Fold together until thoroughly combined.
When the potatoes are cool, fold in half the dressing and thoroughly combine. Then fold in the crumbled bacon, sliced green onion, diced gherkins, chopped eggs, and pimentos. Fold in the remaining dressing. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Place potato salad in a serving bowl. Sprinkle paprika over salad. Garnish with chopped parsley. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for several hours.
Remove potato salad from refrigerator 30 minutes before serving.